I actually do know how to read. My lady showed me Imgur a while back and no one else I know even knows what it is!
What I'm doing with my life
I'm a mechanic. I fix things for the American Tax payer! Or something to that effect. Either way you're tax money goes into my pocket, then into the tank of my motorcycle.
Favouritest of all the things
My motorcycle of course.
My darkest secret
I've never be so sad as when I saw the last episode of Seinfeld.