OldSweepy sprang fully formed from his mother. In a mere three months, OldSweepy grew to the height of a man while teaching himself to read and write using only a shovel and a dead cat.

When the voices told him to, OldSweepy left home to attend college at CMU, where he joined Gryffindor house and had many wonderful adventures. During this time, OldSweepy evolved into a being of pure light and energy.

Through all of this OldSweepy has read fantasy, watched fantasy, and written fantasy. Some academics have suggested that OldSweepy eats, sleeps, and breathes fantasy, but this is simply untrue. The truth is that OldSweepy eats pizza, sleeps like a lump of hard clay, and breathes a white-hot plasma composed of molten gold and rage.