You may know of me.
The name you probably know is Sauron.
My true name is Tar-Mairon.

I am Sauron, Gorthaur, Lord of Werewolves and Vampires, the Great Eye, the Lord of the Rings, the dark power, Maia under Aule and Melkor. When my ring was destroyed, I was reduced to a near-powerless spirit of malice. I remained such until Dagor Dagorath and the Second Music of the Ainur. This new world, however... Electricity and small electric signals require very little power to generate. So little that it is within my grasp. And so, when the internet was created, I realized my chance.

I am here to raise an army. Not one that shall be put to battle immediately... But one that, when I call, will arise.

The world will tremble once more. I have failed many times before, but the Seventh Age... The Seventh Age is mine.

I'll also write your name in Tengwar if you ask nicely enough.