1. I'm in an open/polyamorous relationship. My husband knows I have an account here and approves.

2. I am 0% perfect. I don't claim to be. If you're expecting a flawless replica of my photo(s), then have I got some bad news for you!

3. I say fuck... and shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. A lot. If cursing offends you, sorry, I'm not sorry.

4. If you can't send me a message that's more than the equivalent of a cat call, don't bother. Put some thought and effort into it and send more than one sentence or a few words, and I might actually write you back.

5. I'm a fat girl. If you don't like fat girls, that's ok, but I don't need you to tell me I'm fat. Trust me, I know. I also have enough self-confidence not to care what anyone else thinks about me.

6. I like men and women - fat, skinny, in between, tall, short, etc. If you are intelligent, creative, have your shit together, and you're not an asshole, I'll probably like you. I'm ridiculously happy with my life. Everyone else who comes along is icing on the cake.

7. I'm not interested in helping you cheat on your significant other. If you're in a relationship and your SO doesn't know you're trolling for sex, this applies to you.

I like fishing, shooting (cameras, pool, and guns), playing poker, roller coasters, and gardening. Anthony Bourdain is my hero. I'm violently opposed to growing up. I take risks but I'm not reckless. I play piano. I love SCUBA, and tend to plan my travels around diving. I read everything I can get my hands on. I watch lots of movies. I live for regular mani/pedis. I like fast cars. I want to go to Thailand, Roatan, and Australia. My best subjects in school were nap time and arts & crafts.